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Post by fkn16v on Nov 23, 2005 19:26:15 GMT 10
Thought id open this up again as i heard a decent one the other day and thought i should share it.
A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "140." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another guy came in for a drink and the robot
asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about the football, cricket and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "40." The robot then said, "So, how are things in Redfern these days?"
Im in no wat shape or form a racist and/or bias, just thought it was good.
Cheers
Steve
P.S More to kum, watch for em
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Post by fkn16v on Nov 23, 2005 19:28:50 GMT 10
There are three guys drinking in a pub, when another man comes in and starts drinking at the bar. After a while he approaches the group of lads, and, pointing at the one in the middle shouts 'I've shagged your mum!' The other two guys look bewildered as the man resumes his drinking at the bar. Ten minutes later he comes back and yells at the middle guy again 'Your mum's sucked my cock!'. And then goes back to his drink. The same thing happens, ten minutes later he's back again and announces 'Oi! I've had your mum up the arse!'. Finally the guy in the middle stands up and shouts, 'Look, Dad, you're pissed, now bugger off home'.  ;D |
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Post by fkn16v on Nov 23, 2005 19:30:45 GMT 10
A young woman said to her friend: "I didn't realize that sex could be so painful!" "Why was he THAT big?" exclaimed her friend excitedly. "No, when I got on all fours, the perverted bastard missed the target by about an inch!" ouch |
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Post by Evan on Nov 25, 2005 15:18:34 GMT 10
you never cease to amaze me steve
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Post by fkn16v on Nov 25, 2005 18:03:04 GMT 10
I got shizzle loads bro, sum gorey, some racist/sexist, i got heaps.
Cheers
Steve
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Post by fkn16v on Dec 12, 2005 17:51:14 GMT 10
A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him, "How the hell do the two of you have sex?"
The big guy says, "I just sit there, naked, on a chair, she sits on top, and I bob her up and down."
His friend says, "You know, that don't sound too bad."
The big guy says, "Well, it's kind of like wanking, only I got somebody to talk to."
Cheers
Steve
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Post by Evan on Dec 12, 2005 20:39:35 GMT 10
hahaha
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Post by 20v86 on Dec 18, 2005 9:54:12 GMT 10
keep them coming steve
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Post by fkn16v on Dec 18, 2005 13:53:27 GMT 10
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, baby... population: YOU."
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Post by MarkII on Dec 19, 2005 11:09:45 GMT 10
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.
The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.
The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!"
The other guy says, "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."
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Post by chris ellis on Dec 19, 2005 12:06:18 GMT 10
ahahaha, GOLD
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Post by Evan on Dec 19, 2005 13:07:02 GMT 10
HAHAHAHHA
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Post by 20v86 on Dec 19, 2005 15:11:14 GMT 10
JUST GOLD
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Post by jzx100 trd on Dec 19, 2005 15:12:44 GMT 10
hahah i like it best so fare ;D
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Post by Evan on Dec 19, 2005 15:23:17 GMT 10
Oral Awakening
A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched her.
They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried. The husband said, "I'm not sure - I think maybe she choked."
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;D
